Growth Mindset for Kids: How I Helped My 8‑ and 11‑Year‑Olds Learn to Try, Focus, and Trust Themselves

I am a parent of two children aged 8 and 11. Like many parents, I used to worry a lot about their future especially when I saw certain patterns repeating again and again. Most parents have probably noticed these issues in their children such as poor focus on their work, fear of trying new things, a habit of underestimating themselves before they begin, and sometimes overconfidence without enough effort or practice.

Many times I told them, “You have so much potential, but you are not trusting yourself or working for it.” But slowly I understood something important: children don’t change because of advice; they change because of daily habits and experiences.

This post is not about theory. It is about the small changes I made in my own thinking and daily habits as a mother, and how those changes slowly helped my children too.

What Is Mindset? 

Mindset is the way we think about ourselves and situations.

For example:

• “This is hard, I can’t do it”

• “This is hard, but I can try”

The situation is the same but the mindset is different.

Children build their mindset not from what we say once, but from what they see and experience repeatedly at home.

What Is Growth Mindset?

Growth mindset means changing how we look at mistakes, effort, and challenges.

It does not mean forcing positivity or saying everything is easy. It means:

• Accepting mistakes

• Learning from them

• Trying again instead of giving up

In simple words:

Growth mindset means believing that we can improve step by step if we are willing to try.

The Real Problems I Saw in My Kids

These were the main issues I noticed over time:

• They underestimated themselves

• They feared trying something new

• They lost focus quickly

• They believed, “This is how I am”

I realised this thinking was more dangerous than poor marks or broken toys. Because once a child believes “I can’t change”, growth stops.

How I Teach Growth Mindset at Home (Real Examples)

1. Learning From Mistakes (Not Punishing Them)

I always tell my children:

“Make mistakes. But understand what mistake you made so you don’t repeat it.”

One real example was when my elder child accidentally purchased a yearly subscription instead of a monthly one for an app he didn’t even use. We managed to cancel it later, but two months’ money was already wasted.

Instead of scolding, I explained:

• Yes, it was a mistake

• Now think: what can we learn from it?

I told him:

“You paid for the app. At least in these two months, you could try to learn something from it. And next time, never do online subscriptions without cross‑checking or informing me.”

The lesson was clear, calm, and practical.

Rule at home:

• New mistake → no punishment

• Repeated same mistake → consequences

This helps them feel safe to try, but responsible to learn.

2. Teaching Value and Care Through Toys

My younger child loves toys but sometimes buys similar toys and breaks them, then throws them away.

Instead of shouting, I made simple rules:

• Don’t buy the same category of toy again

• Buy toys only if you will keep them safely

• I love giving my child toys because they help learning. I just want them to learn to care for their things. If a toy is broken through careless use, we won’t replace it immediately; instead, we’ll use it as a chance to teach repair and responsibility.”

I also explained:

“If it breaks by mistake, it’s okay. But breaking carelessly and throwing away is not okay.”

This taught responsibility, not fear.

3. Habit Tracker: Building Confidence Slowly

I maintain a daily habit tracker chart at home.

I include:

• Habits they already do well

• Habits they are still learning

They mark the tracker themselves. I always say:

“I trust you.”

I don’t sit and watch them mark it, but I do review it later.

Why I include habits they already do well:

• They see proof of effort

• They feel, “I have done this much”

• It gives hope instead of guilt

This is very important for children who underestimate themselves.

4. Focus Comes From Small Wins, Not Pressure

Instead of asking them to focus for long hours, I encourage:

• Small tasks

• Clear goals

• Honest effort

When focus breaks, I don’t label them as lazy. I remind them:

“Focus is also a habit. We build it slowly.”

How Growth Mindset Helps Children

When practiced daily, growth mindset helps children:

• Try new things without fear

• Accept mistakes calmly

• Improve focus naturally

• Build self‑trust

• Stop underestimating themselves

Most importantly, they stop saying “This is how I am” and start believing “I can change.”

Important Reminder for Parents and Teachers

Children don’t need perfect parents. They need consistent responses.

Growth mindset does not come from one talk. It comes from:

• How we react to mistakes

• How we handle money, toys, habits

• How we show learning in daily life

Start small. Be patient. Change your response first.

Final Thoughts

As a parent, I learned that mindset is not taught but it is caught.

When children see us learning from mistakes, correcting ourselves, and improving gradually, they naturally do the same.

If you are a parent or teacher, choose one habit from this post and try it for a week. That is enough to begin.